Losing Faith
by Anonyme
Summary: It comes down to faith. But whose?


Ugh. I don't know how to start explaining this. I suppose the easiest way would be to say a plot bunny attacked while I was watching a movie Thursday night. Friday, I started this and I finished it tonight about 5pm. I need to stress it was finished **_before _**the premiere aired. Some of the things in here are completely coincidental. The only thing in here I knew about was the confrontation.

That said, **spoilers** are obviously for _The Two_. There is also a minor spoiler for _Firebomb_.

Thanks to Jen for the beta and to both Jen and Julie for their reaction to this.

Disclaimer-The characters aren't mine. I'm just tormenting them for a bit. I promise to return them pretty much as they were.

Distribution: Sd-1 boards, ff.net, Cover Me, and those who've asked. Anyone else please ask. I'll most likely say yes. :D

**Again, this story contains spoilers for The Two**. However, for my purposes, Jack and Vaughn got along after Sydney's "death". Also, Jack believed all along that Sydney had died in the fire.

I suppose I'd best throw in a [b]tissue warning[/b] as well.

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Losing Faith

"We need to talk."

I stare at my father, wondering what he wants to talk about. Is it going to be the things I remember, things I don't, or is it going to be the things that everyone expects me to understand and accept? Whatever it is, today is not the day for it. 

"Can't we do this later?" I ask, wanting nothing more than to get away from here, to go home. _Wherever that is_.

"No, we'll do this now."

I stand in place, watching as he turns and walks away from me. It's an action that is becoming more and more familiar wherever I go. I shake my head and reluctantly follow him.

I'm surprised when we end up at his car. He unlocks the door and opens it, standing aside so that I can get in. "What's this?"

A flash of the man my father used to be crosses his features. "Sydney, just get in."

"Dad…"

His temper flares. "Damn it! Just do as your told!"

I do as he orders without thinking, the violence in his tone surprising me. He slams the door after me and quickly moves to the other side of the car. He gets in and before I know it, we are on the highway.

I look around as buildings pass. I'm not sure where we are going, but the shock I was in just a moment ago fades, leaving anger in its wake. "Where are we going?"

He doesn't answer. He just continues to stare ahead. When I see he has no intention of telling me anything until he is damn good and ready, I lean forward and turn on the radio, finding the most obnoxious station possible before I slump back in the seat.

It doesn't take long before the radio is turned off and I think he's finally going to start explaining himself and our little road trip. Two minutes later, I discover that my powers of deduction have clearly suffered over the past two years.

We sit in silence for what seems like an eternity before he finally speaks. "I'm sorry."

I can only wonder what this apology is supposed to cover. "Excuse me?"

"I didn't mean to yell . I'm sorry."

I can't believe he's actually said he's sorry. Twice. But right now, those words mean little. It's the words he hasn't said that I want to hear. "Are you going to tell me what this little road trip is all about?"

For the first time since we got in the car, he looks at me, even though it's nothing more than a quick penetrating glance. He shifts his gaze back to the road before replying cryptically, "You'll see."

I shake my head as I cross my arms in front of my chest. As if there aren't enough unanswered questions in my life right now, I have to deal with ones from my father. I look out the window and finally, _finally_, something looks familiar. I only wish it didn't.

He slows the car and turns, driving through the gate. He finally stops a couple of minutes later and turns off the engine. He doesn't speak as he gets out of the car; he just walks over to my side and opens the door.

I get out and watch as he walks ahead, stopping several feet away. I take a deep breath and then I join him. I look down and I'm stunned by what I see. I turn and find my father looking at me. "Dad?"

He hands me an envelope I hadn't even realized he was carrying. "What's this?"

"An explanation."

"What _is_ it?"

"Sydney, Vaughn wasn't the only one who thought you were dead. We all did. If you're going to condemn him, you need to condemn us all."

"Dad…" I stop, willing myself to remain calm, detached. "What Vaughn did was…"

"What Vaughn did, Sydney, is mourn," he interrupts. I start to shake my head, trying to deny what he is saying, but he places a hand on my shoulder and I just look up at him. "He _mourned_ you, Sydney. And then slowly, he started to pick up the pieces. Just like you did after Danny."

I turn away from him and I'm confronted by the eerie evidence of my mortality. As much as I try to ignore it, the headstone with my name cut into it is more than I can take. I close my eyes as I open the envelope I've been holding.

I turn my back to the headstone before I reopen my eyes. Now that the envelope is open, I peer inside, seeing a folder. Carefully, I pull it out. I look at my father once more only to find him starting at the horizon.

I take a deep breath and open the folder. The scorched shell of the building that used to be my home is the first picture that greets me. Then come the police photos. A picture of a sheet almost covering a burned body is quickly turned over only to reveal a picture that is even more horrifying than what I saw in a Mexico City church so long ago.

Tears flow freely as I continue shuffling through the pictures. Most are horrifying crime scene photos, but I think the last one is the worst. A picture from my funeral, it simply shows Vaughn and my father standing together, the top of my casket barely visible . 

"We couldn't leave. Even when they started replacing the dirt, we couldn't force ourselves to leave," he states solemnly. He glances at the photograph, tears in his eyes. "It appears your mother couldn't either."

I don't know what to say to this. Even if I did, I doubt I would be able to respond. For several minutes, we stand in silence just staring at the picture.

"He mourned you, Sydney. He did."

"Did he really?" I ask as I think of what I said to Vaughn back at the hospital. Even now, after seeing proof that what I've been told is true, I still feel betrayed. I look at the photo once again and this time as I look at it, I feel nothing. 

I turn back to the headstone, placing the open folder on its top. Gathering the pictures, I neatly place them back inside and then I close the folder and place it back in the envelope. I hand it back to my father, who is staring at the ground.

He accepts the envelope and starts to turn away, but then he stops and turns back. "Sydney…"

"What?"

"How could you want Vaughn to go through what I did?"

He hands the envelope back to me and turns away. He walks back to the car, leaving me where I stand, stunned. Too stunned, in fact, to go after him as he drives off, leaving me standing on my own grave.

I turn slowly and move closer to the stone. I set what I'm holding on the ground as I kneel before the marble marker. Tentatively, I reach out, my fingers tracing the engraved letters of my name over and over and over again. 

I don't know how long I stay like that, but slowly, I become aware of someone standing behind me. I get up and turn around, expecting to see my dad. Seeing Vaughn is not something I'm prepared for.

"Jack told us where you were," he states a minute later, answering my unasked question.

I nod and look past him to where Weiss is standing. I lean over and pick up the packet of photos and head to the car. I'm halfway there when I realize that Vaughn isn't following me.

I look back and see him crouching in front of the headstone. I move up behind him and watch as he traces the letters of my name just like I had been doing a few minutes earlier. I start back to the car, but the sound of his quiet words stops me.

"I didn't lose faith, Syd. I didn't. I just didn't have any reason to hope."

I lower my head, tears falling unchecked once more. When I reach the car, I keep walking.

~~~~~~~~fin~~~~~~~~


End file.
